Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
