After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
