she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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