On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i drank out of a bidet.
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I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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