it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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