yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As shirtless as possible
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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