Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
