White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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