Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
