I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
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Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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