How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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