so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He did a backflip because drugs
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
