the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
