Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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