It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
