On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I intend to get homeless drunk
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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