Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
