I'm really into asian looking animals
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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