In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize