I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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