She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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