i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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