Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
