that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
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Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
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I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I wear drunk well.
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