she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
