he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
