Don't you send me to vm
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
