By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
