Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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