Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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