I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
