Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
