i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I didn't notice because vodka
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
