i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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