Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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