You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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