I just saw a hot homeless man
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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