Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
