i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
