I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
