Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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