As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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