I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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