So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize