i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
please come you make the beer taste better
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
