This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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