So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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