in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
