my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
