i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think people are normalizing furries
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
