I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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