we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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