I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
