I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize