But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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