I feel like abortions should bother me more
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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